This is a good topic because we have all done it at some time and we all continuously do it, intermittently, ‘rejecting of self’. The ironic part is as we find that we are growing in spirit, we reject ourselves even more. Why am I saying this? Because each one of us has, in our persona, aspects and attributes which we are not very happy with, and we reject those.

There are several ways we employ to reject those; one of the commonest ways is to say it doesn’t exist. This is not me. Several times (I’m talking from experience), when Masters say this is what we see in you, you say, "No." I’ve done it. I’ve completely refused. I’ve said, "Sorry, I don’t think what you are telling me is right." But I know deep within me I’m kidding myself because were it not true, he wouldn’t have mentioned it. So I’m rejecting that part of self by saying it doesn’t exist. But I must be aware that I have; that I’m playing a game with myself. This is one of the commonest ways to reject parts of ourselves.

Another very common way is to project that part onto someone else, and then condemn it. So I will project something onto Sohrab and then condemn Sohrab for that. Fortunately for me that’s not a game I play very often; in fact, I very rarely play that game. But (and I’m going to be very honest here) I see that game played in Pune. I see that game played a lot in Pune, where an aspect or attribute of yourself you don’t want to look at, is projected onto someone else and that person is condemned, criticized. That’s another method we use to reject ourselves because if you were to look at the larger picture, if I reject Sohrab for something, condemn him for something, I am rejecting ME because there is no one else but ME. So when I am criticizing Sohrab I’m criticizing ME. I don’t have the courage to use the personal pronoun so I need to use Sohrab as my target. And, you know, it’s fine. It’s fine to play that game as long as you know you’re playing that game.

Be aware of the games you’re playing. You’re not going to be stopping the game; that’s not the purpose. Just be aware of the game and accept your faults while you’re playing that game. That’s important. We need those games. We aren’t, any of us, so evolved that we can live without our games, which are our defense mechanisms. Just as if you were going to aim an arrow, I would need a shield in front of me. The games we play are our shields. Why should we reject them? We should embrace them, and the way to embrace them is to be aware of what we are doing, every moment.

So you may be rejecting yourself in either of these two games. I don’t know which one is yours; only you know best. I know what is mine, but because I’m in awareness of the game that I play, I play it for a very short period and then I say, "Let’s look at reality." That’s how you accept yourself and grow.

Accepting of self does not mean acceptance of SPIRIT. In fact, you can’t reject Spirit so when Dhiren uses the word self-rejection and mum said self-acceptance, it doesn’t have anything to do with Spirit because how can I accept or reject spirit. I AM. I can only accept or reject that which is not me. Either of these 2 words means a separation from self. It means a lack of self-worth. It means a non-existence of courage to say, "Sorry, if I’m making you uncomfortable but you know I’m blunt, whether accept it or reject it."

So when you say self-rejection, can you see the separation from self? Self-rejection is in itself a game. We play a game to perpetuate a game. Let us understand this. In the deepest core of our being, we actually love ourselves, but ego plays mind games and makes me believe I’m arrogant and I don’t like my arrogance so I’m going to reject that part of it. I’m not going to acknowledge it. I’m going to suppress it. I’m going to project it onto someone else. So that’s a mind game I’m playing. If you truly did not want that aspect of yourself, would you, as such a wise soul who has taken years in earthly time to figure out what your blueprint is, would you have put that into your persona? If there is dirt outside your home, do you sweep it into your home? What you bring into your home is always what you really want in your home. So would you have put something into your persona that you didn’t really want? And when you want something can there really be an element of dislike? Isn’t it then a mind game that you’re playing with yourself?

I have put arrogance into my persona. Why? I like my arrogance. It is through this attribute that I have learnt what true power is. I’ve put it in for a purpose. It might be ‘rubbish’ according to Diana, but so what? She won’t put it into her persona; she won’t bring it home.

Have you understood that clearly? At a larger level, you can’t reject any aspect of yourself; it’s the mind that makes you play the game. Why is this game played? Because there is such an acute need to be approved. Let people think well of me. Let me belong to the group I want to belong to. It’s so scary (and I’m talking through personal experience) to say, "I’m going to stand alone". Yesterday, Diana and I were discussing something at night and she said, "Ell, can you help me on this one?" and I said, "No. You’ve got to stand alone, Diana. I can be there to support you from this distance, but you’ve got to stand alone." Just as I’ve taken the decision to stand alone and if that means not having someone’s approval, I’ve got to take that risk. I’ve got to find the courage at those times when I face disapproval to remind myself, "Ell, personal responsibility."

You have accepted, all of you, with full confidence in yourself, to stand alone without another’s approval or validation. And why do we feel this sense of loneliness? Because we are still in the process of accepting it ALL. We’re still in the process of the self-rejection game. We haven’t let it go completely. The day we let this game go completely, we won’t feel lonely.

You play it fully. You play it completely. Ask any football player; can you play a game of football without being completely there in it? Play the game of self-rejection, knowing it’s a game, and play it fully. See how long you last. Any football player will say two hours max and then you’re tired. Play that game; reject yourself on and on and on and on. One day you’ll say, "I love ME. I really don’t want to reject myself. I really don’t". That’s the moment of awakening, when you realize ego and all; you love all that you are…even when others find it distasteful. And then you won’t play that game again.

But remember, from that moment of awakening, you walk alone. Once you have awakened yourself to the game you are playing, you have to have the courage to stand alone. You have to have the courage to say, "I don’t need validation anymore." You have to have the courage to face disapproval. You have to have the courage to see your own friends’ faces turned against you because they haven’t liked what you have spoken.

The moment you look at someone and they haven’t liked what you have spoken, you begin the game. E.g. if I were to tell Scherry something she did not like and I see disapproval on her face, I will try and re-present in terms, which, I think, she will accept better so that she won’t reject me. The moment I don’t want her to reject me, I must understand that it is because I’m playing the game of self-rejection; that is why I don’t want to see rejection on the outside. The moment you feel that ‘need’, understand that the game is on; then look, if you wish, "What is it that I’m rejecting about myself? What is so ugly? And if it were really so ugly, why have I put it into my persona? And does it make it ugly because someone else finds it ugly?"

You don’t stop, let’s say, buying dried flowers because another doesn’t like them; then why do you stop doing things significant for your growth, because others don’t like them? Bring it down to dried flowers; they lose their significance. Bring everything down to something small. It loses its power over you.

It’s because we are rejecting so many parts of ourselves. The moment I judge you as arrogant, I’m judging me as arrogant. It’s a part of me I don’t want to look at, so I externalize it, project it and say, "Scherry is arrogant. I condemn Scherry." What I’m really condemning is the arrogance within me, which I don’t want to look at; which I don’t have the courage to look at… which is also fine. Can I, at least, have the courage to acknowledge that I’m condemning Scherry because I don’t have the courage to condemn myself? Then when I have the courage to look at my own arrogance, whenever it might be, I’ll do that. But at least the awareness that… I am condemning Scherry because I don’t have the strength to look into what I am condemning myself about; I am playing a game of self-rejection with myself… that awareness will give you a strength which will guide you onwards.

Of course! I have taken it for a reason. Arrogance is one side of the coin; the truth of power is the other. Scherry, if I have a coin, can I say I only want the head and not the tail? I can’t do that. So when I take something and make it mine, my characteristic, my soul characteristic, I take with it, its dual aspect. And I love my dual aspect because it helps me move from I AM NOT to I AM. I accept the whole coin. When I look at only the head and say the tail is ugly, then I’m playing the game of self-rejection.

Very, very many people have said that. "I know I don’t have it". First of all, you can’t ever know that; that ‘knowledge’ is incorrect because if you find it distasteful in them, it is present in you, too. Yes, you may not have chosen to make it into a significant persona trait in this lifetime. Haven’t you seen your astro-charts? Some traits we mark as "Yes. This is in me" and other traits, "No." Remember, it’s in your astro-chart, not mine. How is it in your astro-chart if it’s not part of you? Yes, it could very well be that this persona trait you have chosen, willfully, not to be a dominant in this lifetime, chosen, in fact, to make it completely dormant. That is very, very possible.

Not today.

It could be either. Let’s use your example of arrogance again. Let’s say that arrogance is a trait you criticize in others. Now if you can accept it, that it is part of you, you will understand that arrogance is something that you may not have chosen, for this lifetime, but it’s there in your persona, very much so. You may choose it as a dominant factor in a future lifetime. You see because you are a soul, Scherry, because you are a soul with only the trappings of the ego, the soul knows that this trait is mine, but the self-rejection game is on because the ego doesn’t want to look at it.

Absolutely.

Have you noticed that sometimes a person behaves in a certain manner, which I may find very irksome but which you see, but don’t find it of any significance for you. It doesn’t bother you as it does me. This is because you have completely accepted that trait in you, and in the fullness of acceptance have found completeness, unity, in that area. There is no separation there.

Of course you can play that game if you want to separate your lives. And that’s fine because it may be easier for people to say, "This is me and that is my past." That’s fine. Not everyone can accept all this simultaneously. If you can’t and if you still need this illusion of, "This is me and that is different parts of me" it’s fine.

Our games are fine. Accept your games; don’t reject your games. JUST BE AWARE OF THEM. The awareness is going to help you resolve the root reason why you’re playing the game. So many people tell me, "I know it’s my game, Ell. Tell me why I’m playing it." I don’t know. But what I ask is, is it really necessary to know that? All I tell them is, "Till you find out the root, can’t you just be aware?" You have no idea where awareness of yourself will take you. Just be aware of all that you are and accept it; accept it completely.

Leiloo: We all have parts of the creator in us.

The creator is I AM and I AM NOT.

Thank you all.

Yesu greets you all.

(To Sohrab) You raced her along. (Smiled)

We have waited for this opportunity. It has been time to speak to several here in this room, from the position of overall master that I command for this group; no soft-peddling of ‘Jade Fire’. Today, it is Yesu who speaks and Yesu wishes to speak of that, which for several of you is such a heartfelt desire: MEDIUMSHIP. Have you questioned what it is to be a medium? Have you questioned the process you have to undergo to be a medium? Have you even acknowledged the fire you have to walk through?

And you (Diana) haven’t even started yet and are floundering. Do you have the courage to stand up on that cross, to endure the agony of the driven nails? That is mediumship. When you have the courage to jump into a burning fire, that is mediumship. But when the fire becomes too hot, you now wish to jump out. You can, if you now intend not to be a medium, or else you must stand in that fire till it burns you to an ash. Question, if you have the courage. Your tears will not douse the fire; your tears will only add strength to the fire, making it even more difficult to withstand.

Let there be a fire knowing that at the end there will only be an ash of you. But out of that ash will rise a person like this child (Ell) that you so admire and love. Are you ready to rise out of ash?

Then stand in that fire for as long as it takes. No tears will douse it. It will add to the strength of the fire. Will you be able to bear the added heat?

That is mediumship. That is mediumship and that is why you have earned it. Stand there tall and proud.

So many have started on the process, but should we tell you that you have not started on the process of mediumship at all? Do you wish to be only a telepathic channel or a medium? That is the question. All of you can be telepathic channels; very few can be mediums. Which one of you undergoing your so-called training as mediums, has invited a crucifixion? Welcomed it? No, you wish to sit back in your armchair and you wish to be a telepathic channel. Then you must give it the right term and not elevate it to mediumship. And the universe gives you a lot of free rein. You have a very good saying: ‘Give a person enough rope and he will hang himself’. The universe is doing just that to so many of you. You are given, through this wonderful medium (Sohrab) who holds such diverse and varied energies of the universe, and these very high energies are given to you with all the promise of free access. But the universe knows what you will do with them at your present level of beingness, and the universe has opened that door. Please walk through it. You will be then a marvelous telepathic channel but not a medium.

As energies are given to you there is such vanity, such ego, such arrogance. You can’t stop talking about it. Go ahead; accept those energies. There will come a time when you will access those energies and see only you and then what you see of you, you will not find appealing. A closed mind and a closed heart, do not a medium make. A closed mind to truth; not only your truth but the truth of all who exist, to be respected as truth. Not a closed heart, which gives love to a few and condemns the rest who may not live up to your standards. That is not love. If you cannot love all in this room equally, unconditionally, without judgment, you have never learnt to love. You love the very person who bores the nails into your wrist. That is love. It is easy to love one who pats you on the back, who seems to be there in times of need. It is easy to love such.

Question again, my dears, very carefully, if mediumship is what you truly desire. Mediumship means the existence of nothing save you. Are you that big? Are you that big? Are you that big? Are you that big? Are you that big? The existence of nothing, save you.

(To Shernaz)To be medium one has to go through the deepest, darkest place that you have left behind, knowing that you have the strength to travel there. The darker the place that you will travel, the greater is your growth as a medium. Are you willing to traverse your darkest deepest place? Are you willing to be crucified? Are you willing to burn to an ash? Are you willing to have no friend that you can call your own?

Then you have earned the right to call yourself a medium in training but only if that is true. Remember, young one, the moment you say ‘yes’ to the universe, the universe will put it into practice.

(To Khursheed) You have seen better than most others, you have seen the vanity that has arisen all around you, with higher energies accessed, and you know well the difference between a telepathic channel and a medium. You have the wisdom to see the vanity when it is in progress. Now you must have the courage to voice it, openly and bravely. Your task will be left incomplete, if it is not voiced. You have worked very hard with many people, to raise their energies and we are aware, now, of the shift you have made from ‘death’ to ‘life’. Part of your new life is ‘courage’, courage to speak your truth. That which you see as truth must be voiced, openly, strongly, without fear of rejection. You do not need the approval of any other now. You have gone beyond validation. You have gone beyond dis-ease.

Yesu has spoken strongly today. It is because in each one gathered here, Yesu sees a ‘medium’. But those who sit here can only see themselves as telepathic channels and are content at being so. You have confused the two terms.

(To Rusi) Do not forget we are with you. Why do you constantly feel alone when Yesu is strong in presence with you, at every moment in time? I have never gone back on a promise made and I have promised to be with you always. Whether you acknowledge my presence or not, I am here. When you feel alone, you reject me, for can you be alone if I am there with you? I live within you, not even outside of you, within you. All you have to do to touch me is to touch your heart. Your every heartbeat will spell my name. When will you believe that?

(To Syrus) And you too. What does Yesu have to do to make you believe? If it were possible, Yesu would have climbed the cross again. Would that make you believe? Every moment of doubt is a doubt against me. Every moment that you reject your growth, you reject who I am. Yesu is not dead. He lives. He walks. He breathes in you. But every moment of doubt crucifies Yesu again. How many times have you then crucified me? I will rise again. I will rise again in you; live again in you; love again in you; breathe again in you, even if you were to crucify me a hundred times over, I will live in you. That is the resurrection.

(To someone in the audience)You will get what your heart desires.

If Yesu had not climbed the cross, Yesu would not be Christ.

Yesu is you.

Then you must be content in this lifetime, and those like you must be very content, to call themselves telepathic channels.

Will you now call yourself a Divine being?

Although you are! You are a Divine being.

(To Yezad) And you, my son, what are you content with? Is there any contentment within?

And that is what you are content with. There is a glow of satisfaction in acknowledging that there is no contentment in your life. And what game is this that you play with yourself? It brings you the attention that you need from others, but those who give you that attention, dear one, give you the attention of a ‘superior’ to an ‘inferior’. Do not forget. They come from a vain knowledge of telling you how to be. Is this the attention you seek?

Divine beings, do not be scared of life. You have come to leave behind you so much. You are almost home. The last rugged mile is still to be run. When you have crossed so many high mountains, will this last torturous mile turn you away from home where I wait to embrace you? The door has been left open by me and it will not shut till all my flock come home. All my flock! They must come back before this shepherd can rest. All my flock!

(To Sanju) Do not be so troubled. I hear you. I may not always answer in words that are sweet for you but I hear, and answer you will get. Will you just trust us enough to know that we will answer in words best for you? Do not be troubled. You have much joy.

(To Yezad) It is time to claim your place. Do not ever raise your eyes up to anyone, only to yourself.

When I appear to you as Jade Fire, it is so easy for you to feel, touch and accept my love and yet, I am the same loving energy that just shared the same kind of love with you. One form is acceptable; the other is fierce and mean. Understand today, here and now, understand, you beloved energy beings, understand love is the same. Look beyond appearance. Sometimes it is necessary to jolt you with vigorous love; other times it is necessary to cradle you with soft love. But the force is the same. My love is with you always.