Ego and Self

Sir, I want to know the difference between EGO and Self-respect.

For that, little one, you need to know the difference between Ego and Self.

If we asked any one of you, ‘what is Ego’, your answers will range from pride, to boastfulness, arrogance to haughtiness. But that is not Ego. That is only how you perceive the ego with discomfort. Other manifestations of ego are comfortable and therefore you do not give them these ‘labels’.  But little one, Ego is all that you are as a physical being, as a mental being. We have in the past explained the three beings that you are. When a Spirit Being is kept separate or ignored and only the physical and mental beings are given importance that is Ego. When a kind word is spoken to you and you feel a thrill of pleasure that is Ego. When a harsh work is spoken to you and you feel a deep sense of Sorrow that is Ego. When another refuses to accept your truth and you feel anger and an irritation that is Ego. When fear envelops you, because you anticipate a dear one being separate from you, which is Ego. When you desire praise and applause that is Ego. ALL IS EGO.  Because all arises from a sense of expectation.

A simple way in which you can distinguish for yourself the presence of Ego, is merely to ask yourself ‘was there any expectation involved?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, it is Ego.

Let us put forth to you, a few questions, which you can answer yes or no to yourself.

Try to remember how many of these questions you answered with ‘yes’.

 Do you enjoy the company of others?

When you are tired, do you look for someone on whom you can release the tiredness and frustration?

In your profession, do you look for success and glory?

Are you happy when success knocks at your door?

 Does failure, however small, make you sad?

 When you read a newspaper do you pass judgement upon that corrupt police officer, upon that dishonest politician?

Are you filled with a sense of achievement when others believe in what you say and do?

Does it make you angry when someone ignores you? Are you upset when someone tells a lie about you?

Are you upset when your little child misbehaves near others?

Do you make all efforts to ensure that your child is disciplined in the manner you think is right?

Are you important to yourself?

How many of you answered ‘yes’ to all? How many of you answered ‘yes’ to the last one?

The only reply that should have had a ‘yes’, was the last.

All others were Ego. The last was ‘Self’.  What is Self?  Self is the perfect, wonderful combination of mind, body and soul. Self is soul, and self is spirit. If self is not important to you, then all other questions must be answered with ‘yes’, because self has been repressed. When Self is important, ‘her’ opinion about self is not. There is no sense of thrill if ‘she’ considers  your self to be ‘good’. And there must be no sense of disappointment if ‘she’ considers your self to be ‘bad’.  Self does not look outward. Self does not need ‘him’ to be blamed for the agitation and anger that you feel. Self does not need ‘him’ to make you feel complete and accepted and wonderful.  Self does not need your child to behave in a manner that will make others look at you and say ‘what a wonderful parent’.

Self needs no validation! Let us study this word a little more carefully. We have used it in the past. ‘Validation’, to make ‘valid’, to make ‘real’. Ego requires another to ‘feed’ it. Ego requires another to make it ‘exist’. Ego requires another to ‘nurture’ it. Ego requires another to make it ‘valid’. Self knows it is.  Self knows it is! And therefore requires nothing. Then success and failure, opinions, acceptance, rejection, all become outside of the self and all therefore become illusions. Only self is real because only self is light. Ego can never be a creation of the light. Ego is a creation of the energy of ignorance.  Are we calling you foolish? No. But you are ignorant of all the laws that work.  And this ignorance creates a distance between this ego and self.

How does this Ego come into form? Because although illusory, in that state of illusion, it is real. So how does it come into creation? At birth there is no Ego, there is only Self.  But soon the ‘Veils’ come down, as they must. And soon the previous ‘conditioning’ that you have received in embodiments ‘awaken’, as it must. This awakening, this lowering of veils and the conditioning that you receive again from the environment, all go together to form the Ego. In fact, the greatest conditioning that a young one receives from the environment implicitly -– very rarely is this lesson taught as an explicit lesson – but implicitly the young one is ‘conditioned’ by the environments’ needs of Ego and the young one picks up first from parents and family and then from all the environment, that “Ego is what is uppermost in this world that I have to survive in”.  ‘Self’ is forgotten. Where can the little one turn, to get an example of self?  And if this example is not presented, how will the little one remove even one veil of forgetfullness?

When the tyrannical father ensures that only his word is followed in the home, what is the implied lesson? Ego! When a suppressed mother retreats in fear, what is the implied lesson? Ego! When the child is given gifts for having attained success, what is the implied lesson? Ego! When a child is chided for a failure, what is the implied lesson? Ego! When a child is told ‘this is how you must behave when there are others around, what is the greater implied lesson? Ego!  When the child hears those around denigrating someone for a quality that the adult does not approve of, what is the lesson? Ego!  Judgement arises out of ego!  What is the danger of this Ego?  The danger, dear ones, is that when you begin to believe in the illusion you completely forget who you are.

Why do so many in your world need to go to psychiatrists and psychologists? And what is the question you desire these experts to answer? The question you go in quest for, is ‘WHO AM I ’. Why does your Ego not give you this answer? Why does your Ego not quench this thirst? Because Ego is illusion!  It is real only in illusion! The spirit is real.

We have discussed how the ego behaves. Let us see how you would behave as a complete, well-balanced being of body, mind and soul. Self. How would self behave? Self will work and strive hard to be good at the work given. Will it be for the monetary reward? Would it be for the good name? Will it be for the pat on the back? Self will work and strive hard because self knows that in this striving is growth of self. Will this self not discipline the little child? The Self will discipline and not control!  Self will discipline and not condition! Self will tear the illusions that the child is surrounded with. And only bring one discipline into that child and that is the discipline of Self. What discipline have you given when you teach the child only to say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ at the correct time, when Self is forgotten and Ego makes the child selfish ? What discipline have you given the child when the child is ‘trained’ in the art of telling lies? What discipline have you given the child, when you tell the child ‘if you behave in this manner, society will accept you’? What discipline have you given the child, when you insist that the child must be successful in all, so that accolades and praise and money and power and glory and fame are the child’s? And you call that discipline?

And the Self is forgotten!  Self will not discipline the child, Self by precept would show the child how to discipline itself, because self realises that each one’s path of discipline is different because self energy differs from self energy. Self responds to kindness with a smile that comes out of ‘silence’. Self responds to harshness with a smile that comes out of ‘silence’. Self sees all. And yet self is the only one that sees all.  Ego sees only the illusion and cannot transcend beyond. Self sees both, illusion and reality.

How, little one, can you then not respect Self? Self is love. Self is Light. Self is joy and self is peace. Can there be anything but respect? And yet there are those in your midst who look for means to develop self-respect. You are looking for means to develop respect in Ego! There can be no such respect for Ego. There can be an ‘acceptance’ of Ego. Self knows that when tears fall, it is the Ego that has been shattered. Self knows and in this great ‘knowing’, Self permits the tears to fall. Self feels a thrill when a loved one embraces, but Self knows that the thrill is not of the Ego and in this knowing, Self permits the thrill. In all, Self can see ‘illusion’ and ‘reality’. And when this can be seen, Self will not harm. Because all that Self sees is light. Its own Light illuminates the light that is around. And Self will do nothing to harm it, neither in action, nor in word or in thought.

Many of you are content in thinking of yourself as never causing harm to others, because you never ‘do’ something that harms. But little one, you do it all the time, with your thoughts. Thoughts that are controlled by ego. If you judge this child to be ‘bad’, to be what you call a ‘sinner’, you have created ‘waves of negative energy’ and ‘released them’ towards this child and in that is your greatest harm. Self will cause no harm because self can see ‘illusion’ and ‘reality’ both.

We will take questions on this now.

Sir, what I find is that this miniscule evolvement that I have undergone after all these years of listening to you Sir, at least at the time when this Ego arises, I can see it. When the rage arises or something, then I grab it, or my mind, . . . . . but is there inner conflict between Self and Ego at that time Sir.

No! That is the moment, my son, when your Self overcomes the Ego. And this, my son, is the beginning of the process.

The capital ‘E’ has become the small ‘e’.

That, my son, is no miniscule achievement. Ego considers it miniscule. Self knows the true worth of this progress. Dear ones, we are thankful to this son of mine, for introducing us to this aspect of Ego.

Those of you who think that Ego is present only in boastfulness are wrong. Ego is present in as great a proportion, when you refuse to look at your own achievements. When you refuse to give yourself the true pride of being Self. Not the illusion but a pride in which you experience a joy of being Self. A pride which looks at every achievement of Self and knows how vital it is in ‘growth’.  When you decide to become one who will be pitied by others, little one, that is Ego.

Sir you mentioned about the conditioning of the mind, . . . . .are there any instances . .. where this can be kept out of the blueprint ?

This, dear one, must come. If it were present, would you not have put it into your blueprint?

 No choice?

No choice! When you, as the Spark, decided to take on physical embodiment, along this pathway of evolution that was your choice. Ego does not acknowledge that the Universe constantly gives you the opportunity to be aware of weaknesses in yourself which you need to overcome. What is adversity, but this opportunity?  Adversity in any form is only an opportunity given to you by the Universe to go beyond the ‘Veils’ and to see the areas of weakness that you need to overcome so that there is growth.

But Ego resists adversity! It calls it ‘pain’!  It calls it ‘trouble’! It calls it ‘difficult’. And these words and these labels that you give to these wonderful opportunities increase their size, because these labels give your power to the adversity. As soon as you label something as a hurdle, as a difficulty, as a failure, you have taken away the power that you are infused with as spirit. And you take that power and you give it away.  And then you look for others around you to ‘blame’.

Sir, this conflict keeps going, because, recognising that something is there because of the Ego….

It must go on. In this conflict is growth.

Sir, this aggressiveness, people are aggressive, abrasive also egotistical . . . .

Would the Soul, would the Soul ever resort to harshness, to aggression? When the Spirit seeks not to harm, how can the Spirit seek to move along a path that will cause harm?

Sir, we can see the aggression, . . . .

The Ego does not see it. Self knows.

Sir we were talking about pride in self and Ego and the distinction seems to me somehow, as a human being having an Ego myself, rather a big one, Ego is on a lower pedestal than Self. Is Ego really a bad thing Sir?

Not at all bad.

What is wrong with wanting to reach the pinnacle in your own sphere of work?

Nothing wrong. But why do you wish that, is where ego comes in. it is not the desire, dear one. Each one must strive to reach that pinnacle, as you called it. In whatever you do, whether it is in career, or it is as a simple human being, strive only for that pinnacle. But why the striving? Is the striving for an ego-evolved reason, or is the striving   a pathway to the growth of self?  And to your first question dear one, Ego is not bad. Nothing is.

We need Ego Sir?

You most certainly require ego. It is only through the transcending the ego, dear one, that you can raise the energy of the spirit that you are. And so ego must be created. And we started our discourse by saying that it must. You cannot get away from that. But when you are more aware then the illumination of knowledge has awakened your soul that illumination must be allowed to let its light fall upon the illusion. A required illusion, but illusion nevertheless.

Sir when we see a person suffering and our heart goes out to that person and we genuinely want to help the person, we move heaven and hell to help ...how can we now tell. .. will that also be Ego, satisfying the Ego or genuine helping ?

Only you dear one, can answer that question. You may move ‘heaven and hell’ if they did exist, you may move all kinds of illusions and realities. But why you do what you do, can only be answered by you.

There is a complicated, like all my questions. When you are faced with a situation when you are faced with a person (of position)   who says that as we go  . . .. ..at you, which can sometimes be very, very different, yet without appearing the same to that person, without appearing why you should know more or better or clearer . . . without having the same translation . . . . how does one break through that ? ?

Little one, the answer is simple. Whether the person you are facing, reacts to you and considers your action and where there is Ego, is not your responsibility. If you had a knowledge which is greater and the knowledge requires to be shared, not out of an Ego need, then the knowledge must be shared. Because when there is fear, of what another will perceive of this knowledge, then that fear is only another way of looking at Ego. Validation is not looked for by Self. Self expresses itself in a manner that is required at that moment in time and another’s reaction, favourable or unfavourable has no significance to Self.

Is self-centredness, being touchy, getting hurt, amount to Ego?

Self centeredness is excellent. Being touchy and being hurt is Ego. And the two are certainly not the same.  Self centred. It is a state that each Self desires to be in. And yet you have given it a ‘label’ – Selfish.  ‘Self centred’ you say.  And in that you do not know how much you praise the other. When there is silence within, when body, mind and soul have come together in perfect unison, all energy is centred in Self. Self-centred. We urge you all to be Self Centred. You can’t be anything else. At present your focus of energy is at a centre outside of you. Bring this centre within and become self-centred. When you are, you won’t be ‘touchy’, you won’t be hurt.  And in moments when you are, the Self will at once acknowledge the distinction between Ego and Self.

Sir, I have a question. How do you handle ego in relations with your subordinate or sometimes you want to be harsh . . . . How do you . . . .

We do not agree with you. We do not agree with the word ‘subordinate’. We do not agree that you require to be ‘harsh’. Yes, at times in a work situation or any other personal transactional situation, when the workplace becomes one, where the ‘Ego Being’ is given more importance, you must take responsibility to ensure that there is a balance. Yes, you must fulfil all the responsibilities placed upon you in your workplace. Certainly. And yes, for those responsibilities to be fulfilled you take the help of others who are in your fold.  As Masters, little one, we have several Guides, Counsellors and Spirits in our fold. Are they ‘subordinate’ to us? No. We respect their process of growth and in this respect we acknowledge that in the sameness and oneness of our Spirit they have undertaken to help us to fulfil our larger responsibilities. Yes, they need guidance and yes, as Masters we need to advise them on pathways they need to choose. Is it done out of a sense of the ‘top looking down at the bottom’? It is done out of a sense of joint, and yet separate.  In that there can never be harshness.

Son, do not confuse ‘harshness’ with ‘firmness’. This confusion arises in the mind. The Self knows when it is being ‘firm’ and in firmness there can be no harshness. Is it important for you, what your – we use your word - ‘subordinate’ thinks of your firmness?  If it is important for you, then your action came out of Ego. When Self, when Spirit sees the need for firmness and undertakes firmness as that pathway required, it does not need its action to be validated by another.

You have a Master that comes before you often times. The High Lord Mithreha and each one, each one has at some time had a thought at least, that this Master is harsh. The High Lord sees a need and will go by that need. His firmness does not require a validation or otherwise from you. For those who have experienced this Jade Fire’s firmness when the need has arisen, will tell you, that this Master can also resort to a pathway that you might ‘label’ ‘harsh’. Then where does the truth between firmness and harshness lie?  Does it lie outside of you? If there is Ego the reply is yes.  When there is Self, the truth of this distinction lies within Self. And Self instantaneously knows when it has separated and turned to Ego.

Sir, in a relationship, when one partner is constantly dominating like a steamroller, and will not tolerate any kind of self-expression from the partner, and the other partner just meekly keeps quiet for the sake of peace . . .

For the sake of Ego.

Is that Ego? That was my question.

For the sake of Ego.

But isn’t that abnegation of the Ego?

Ego is when for the sake of what you call ‘peace’, which is not peace at all, but only a state of ‘suppressed conflict’ - when in this desire you become meek, you repress within you all anger – ‘ego’ ! How would self respond to this situation?  We will ask you to give us answers.

With love.

Sir I would . . . from within

Stand up for what you believe.

Act in a situation  rather than react.

You said last time Sir, ‘I am God’, ‘I am God’

‘I am God’(pointing to self) and conflict, however illusory, cannot touch ‘me’. ‘I am God’ (pointing to another) and conflict is only the illusion that ‘I’ perceive. When this acknowledgement is real, (not intellectual), then you will not need to be assertive, you will not need to stand up for what you think is right, you will not have to try to keep the power within, you will not have to try to be loved. You just will be. Self is unaffected. When Self desires to share its truth, little one, it shares without requiring to stand up for it.  Without requiring another to believe in it. Assertion of the Ego is only an illusion that you are comfortable with. When Self asserts its power to be, my child, this power is radiated outwards in such strength that the ego will not need any assertion.

But there is a question in this child’s mind, that when in this pathway another keeps walking all over you  -- Ego fights this -- Self sees the illusion. And is content, in permitting the other to have this illusion if that is what the other requires.  If in this, there is hurt, then in this there was no acknowledgement of self.  This is a difficult pathway to tread, little one.  But do not label it as adversity.  Welcome this into your lives as opportunity to see your areas of weakness and overcome them.

It will not happen instantly, it is a slow process as our son has experienced. But is it impossible? If it were, this son of ours, (Syrus) who was ruled by pure ego would not have evolved to this moment in time when Ego and Self are now evident to him. The more egotistical you are at present, the more joyous you should be. Because nature has given you opportunities in greater abundance for your growth, than to another.