HELPING OTHERS

Q: Sir, this friend of mine spends all her time healing others and doing nothing for herself. I am trying my best to tell her to do something for her own self, but she doesn’t. Is there any way I can help her?

Child, let me answer this in a general way, and you will get your answer from this. Children, when you find that there are individuals who are constantly spending all their time working for others, healing others, doing things for others and what you call ‘neglecting’ themselves, try to find out for yourself which of the two situations apply.

There is one situation where you have a selfless soul like the one you called the Mother Teresa. She devoted herself to mankind because that is what her blueprint was. She had written into her blueprint that she would get energy only through the positive energy she would give others. And so she did it. There was no motive, no selfishness, just a pure giving. In such a situation there is no neglecting of the self because there is no self. The self has been transcended enough to now devote one’s energy only to the betterment of others.

There is another situation that is the more common one. When a lot of work is done for others, it is the soul’s desperate search for its own comfort. There is a desperate search that ‘if I comfort her and heal her, somewhere I will find the comfort that I seek’. This soul has come with a blueprint of learning to find her comfort within herself. That is the lesson. The environment gives the soul all opportunity to find comfort in the outside, because the soul must look at this environment and know that its comfort lies not outside but within. This person will find always someone who needs her comfort, someone who needs her healing…all the time. Because she is looking for her own comfort, her own solace. Now do not put words like ‘selfishness’ upon this. Yes, the soul is doing this from a point of view, which is not complete and pure like the first. But, that does not lessen what the soul is doing. With such a soul, if you are close enough, you may gently try to question as to why she heals others. What does she get in return? It takes a very long time for such a soul to look deep within and to realize that ‘I am doing this to find solace within myself’. And it is an extremely difficult realization because at once the physical mind will say ‘I am so selfish’. But it is not selfishness. The soul is just looking for pathways, pathways to learn the lesson it has opted to learn. Yes, such a soul will neglect herself because in this situation ‘self’ is predominant. The help to others stems from the help that is required by self.

So when you see such a person, ask yourself which of the two situations does this fall under and work accordingly. If you are not as close to her to talk to her of this, then do not pursue the subject, because even though the comfort has not been found within, that which has been found outside has its own healing properties for the soul.

Q: Sir, I had this compulsive thing of helping others and when I realized….

Ah! Yours is different. You have gone from this path to this; you have not come to the middle. And by going on to this path you have curbed your own natural gift for helping others. My son, you have been put into a profession where you can be of help because it is a gift that you have. But, you see, your realization, my son, was from here (head) and not from here (heart). And when you realized that you were doing this the mind told you that now you must do just the opposite. My son, our advice to you is to go ahead and help others with the full realization that you are doing this in order to find the comfort within yourself. With that realization, continue. Do not curb that gift. The more you realize every time, in every situation; there will come a day when you will realize that there is no self, involved at all. And do not wish this to happen overnight. Realization from within is a huge step. Don’t curb yourself. Give of yourself. You have come for that. You have come for that…to give of yourself always. And this ‘realization’ has made it stop. This is a good example, my son. When knowledge of psychology that is not complete in itself, works against you. You have considered it as knowing what is present in your mind. Psychology is knowing what is there in your heart. Your knowledge has stopped you. That is why you keep going from this end to this end. And when you are on this end there is guilt, your ever-loyal friend. (All laugh)