INNER ANGUISH

Yes children, let us deal with this discussion of inner anguish, anger, bitterness, shame, guilt and all the other feelings that well up in your heart at the departure of a loved one. My children it is very important to know that you must, and I repeat you must, give full freedom to these feelings to be voiced. Do not think, as many of you wrongly do, that when a loved one has passed away you must stop all the bitterness that was there in your heart when the loved one was alive. My children you all are evolved but none so evolved that there is no bitterness in your heart. The only way to be rid of bitterness and anger is to give it freedom of expression. It is not wrong to say that I am angry with my husband who is dead; I still have feelings of bitterness for my father who is no more; I still do not find it in my heart to love a relative or a family member who is no more. If you do curb these feelings it will be a lie, one that you will have to bear the consequence of. Many of you, due to social conditioning and inner inhibitions, feel that it is not correct to talk ill of one who has passed on. My children it is wrong to talk ill of any soul, where a soul resides it immaterial. ‘If the soul resides here then I can give myself permission to talk ill of him, think ill of him, do ill to him, but as soon as the soul resides elsewhere I will then talk only good of him” Does this make sense? First that is wrong because if you have to talk good of someone, think good of someone, do good to someone, do it in his presence, do it for him when he is with you in the physical form. Don’t wait till it is too late. And yes, being human you will err in this way very often, and if you have erred, you now have two pathways before you.

If the bitterness is still there within your heart bring that person before you and say “ Dear one, I know you are no more with me in the physical form but the anger that I feel I must now convey to you. I do not wish you to be harmed by this anger nor do I wish this anger to harm me and therefore I must give it words. If it lies within me it will harm me and you and because I dearly love and see within you the spark of God I know that you and I together will overcome this anger.” Tell the loved one the reason for this anger, bitterness, pain, and guilt. Do it again and again till this poison leaves your system. If there is something unpleasant in your home will you sweep it in a corner and pray that it will go away? Or will you sweep it out yourself? These feelings that you harbor within are dirt. Don’t push them into a corner and pray to our Lord to take them away. Our Lord has not put them there, how can He take them away? You created the dirt and now you ask our Lord to sweep it away for you. You must sweep it because once you do that the dirt will not return again. So be brave, be honest. Do not think that because the physical body is no more, the soul has changed. All of you seem to think that as soon as the physical body decays the soul now has the right to the greatest reverence that you can feel? Why? Does this mean that you were looking for so many years at the physical body and not at the soul? Then shouldn’t you be looking beyond? And if you have been looking beyond and seeing the soul, then the soul is the same. Just as you may have harmed the soul that soul may also have harmed you and because both you and the soul are at a certain level of evolution you will in a natural course of events feel all these unpleasant feelings. These are not bad, they are not wrong, they are natural and if you are uncomfortable with them you must make the effort to change what you find uncomfortable. If the room within this house is dirty, untidy, not kept in order, and if the owner of the house shuts the door and says, ‘I will not look at it’, and then opens it after five years thinking that his five years of prayer will have miraculously cleaned the room, the owner of the house is in for a very unpleasant surprise. Not only will the room be in the same mess, but also because it has not been looked at for five years, it will be even dirtier. So that is not a solution. Hiding is never a solution. Acknowledge every feeling that you have, and acknowledge it with honesty. If you feel anger, acknowledge it completely; if you feel dislike, acknowledge it completely. When you acknowledge these feelings, and in your heart there is a sincere desire to wipe these feelings out, you will be able to this. Slowly, yes, but certainly.

Now you may think that I am advocating anger and bitterness towards those who have passed on. I am doing no such thing. I am merely putting out to you an obvious, plain fact that the soul remains exactly what it is was here on the physical plane, even when it has passed on. The anguish you feel within, is because so many of you, in spite of all wisdom, look at this (physical body) and you give it so much importance. The soul is always with you. Do you think that only you experience anger? Do you know that if a soul has been angry with you when alive, it will be angry with you even when it has passed on? Oh yes, my children, do not think that your loved ones who pass over suddenly become angelic and are filled with love. No, no, no. Love and forgiveness come so much later. First the soul has to learn. It sees its errors, it takes a step behind, and it takes a step ahead. It falters, it falls, it picks itself up, and then there is love and forgiveness. And this the soul can do because when there is no physical body there is no hiding from anything because with your physical body comes the physical mind which permits you to hide behind it. The soul has no mind to hide behind.

What are earthbound spirits my children? They are those souls that still feel the anger, the material desires, the envy, the jealousy, the hatred and bitterness…all this the souls still feel. That is HELL my children that is the real HELL. And these souls are not ready to look at the error of their ways, they are not ready to give up these feelings, they are not ready to accept their soul state. So they stay where they are, neither here nor completely with us, and they suffer. Oh, how they suffer. But, as was told to you the last time, we who love them so dearly, and who suffer with them so keenly, we stand aside and we respect their decision. But we wait, we wait for one moment of light when the soul might be in doubt “Should I move on or should I stay this way?” We wait for this one moment of doubt and then we move in and we show the soul that there is love, that the soul need not suffer any more. And very often, but sadly not always, we are successful. And for every soul that comes with us from out of this self-made hell there is joy because one more soul has started again on its journey forward. So you see my children souls do not forget, and of course they don’t, because if they did what would be the purpose of all that they have suffered in their lives? They remember so that when they remember, review their actions, and hear their words and can actually see their thoughts, but without the chains of the physical mind, that soul is able to look and see where it has erred. And then the soul decides to take one error at a time and work it through…one error at a time. It takes a long time for all errors to be worked out completely. But that is not what all souls opt to do. Some souls, yes, decide that they will not do any other task but what they decide to call repentance and this is completely encouraged and supported but there are some souls who will decide that ‘along with this personal work I will also work for other souls around me’. Again that is their decision and it is respected.

Your husband, my child, has taken no decision as yet. At present he is merely at the stage of reviewing his life. He is looking at it from his very first moment of birth and this procedure will take him some more time, but there is a genuineness in him to look at his every word, every deed and every thought, with complete openness and honesty. It is difficult for him because there are many, many things that this son of mine regrets, and sometimes the regret makes him sad, and this is good. We permit that to happen because in that sadness there is knowledge, there is a wisdom that is forming, and he will never do again that which he regrets. So at present, whenever he is awake, he looks, he understands. He is surrounded by his friends who give him hope and courage and share their own experiences with him so that he his not deterred. After this is over, he will take a decision whether he would like to work for himself and others, or only for himself. Both options are regarded as his and therefore respected.