Relationships

May I ask a question which last time also I had asked. Why do close relations normally lead to disrespect and contempt?

Because you are looking at very, very close karmic links coming into play. Dear one, relationships do not happen by chance or accident. However brief they might be, if the relationship has brought two together there must be a karmic link involved in it. This is important to remember in any relationship. It need not be a romantic one. It need not be a parental one. Any relationship which brings two into very close proximity for even a very short period of time has a karmic link. Those karmic links which have been fulfilled during the course of the relationship will result in the relationship coming to a gradual, pleasant, peaceful end. It does not mean that you will part ways, but the depth of the relationship will certainly not be present once the karmic link has been fulfilled.

Then there are those karmic links which are ‘cornerstone’ links. In your blueprint you have placed them as cornerstones. For those of you who do not understand, it means that cornerstone karmic links MUST be faced however pleasant or unpleasant they might be. When they are cornerstone karmic links, often the manifestation is not very pleasant. The karmic link that you need to fulfil may have come out from an act, a word, a thought, a behaviour that in an earlier incarnation spelt either harm or certainly some level of judgement, some level of deliberate hurt. Karmic links arise out of free will decisions. They do not arise out of cornerstone situations. But when a relationship is a cornerstone relationship, although the situation is a cornerstone situation, how you then resolve this situation is a free will choice. Do remember, dear ones, even when a cornerstone situation is present, your response to it is always a free will choice. In a cornerstone relationship, if there is something unpleasant in your past that you wish to resolve now, the relationship will be discordant.  And it will certainly be one that will involve closeness and depth. Without that closeness a cornerstone relationship cannot be resolved.

Now let us study the free will choice that you have in such a relationship. You can either resolve it completely and not have to face a karmic debt any longer, or merely result in increasing the karmic debt that already exists. Your response, your actions, your words, your behaviour, your judgements either lead to resolution or an increase. It is your free will choice. But now you have this knowledge to understand that proximate relationships always involve karmic links. Some karmic links on a very few occasions might not need resolution for both who are involved. They are cornerstone relationships entered into for the growth of only one of the two involved.  When that kind of relationship is a discordant one, filled with contempt, humiliation, anger, it is a relationship in which one soul has entered into as a contract to behave in this manner in order to help the growth of the other. This kind of cornerstone relationship takes place when the two souls involved are what we call ‘soul mates’. Incarnation after incarnation they have come together; sometimes one helping the other and sometimes the other helping the one.  The result of these relationships can also be a growth for one who desired to learn and grow or it can be a karmic build-up of the one who desired to grow but eventually did not.  There will be no karmic obligation on the part of the soul that entered into the contract in order to be – let us use a word you are comfortable with – ‘nasty’.  There is no karmic build-up for that soul. That soul merely carries out its part in a contract.

Then there are relationships which are entered into which are not cornerstone relationships. In your blueprint you have certainly included them but not as cornerstones. You have given yourself the freedom to address it or leave it, as per a free will choice made by you in physical embodiment. Those are relationships that come to an end without a resolution. They come to an end, leaving behind resentment, anger, emptiness. The emptiness is due to the fact that there has not been a resolution. In order for such relationships to come to an end, there must be an agreement in the free will decision of both involved in that relationship. If she and he are in such a relationship and there is a free will choice from her, to end, not to resolve, but that free will choice is not his, the relationship will keep coming back to you intermittently till there is either resolution or there is an agreement in the free will choices taken by both.

Not all close relationships are entered into because of unpleasant karma.  Some are entered into because of karma arising out of something that you did for another, which was good. You are confused. “Why karma when I do something good?”  Because what you have done that is good, you had done not out of a soul realisation of ‘I am God’ (pointing to self) and ‘I am God’ (pointing to another) but out of a personal need that required to be fulfilled. Let us give you an example that will make this clear. This child here gives of herself freely to all. There is no physical judgement passed of ‘caste’, religion, wealth, social status. No judgement. She perceives from deep within her spirit herself a need, a lack in another. This perception is a realisation of ‘I am God’ and ‘I am God’. And it is only out of that realisation that her self is given freely without expectation of any kind, without return of any kind. There is no need within her that she has to fulfil. But if she did this same service because there was a deeper need within her which needed to be fulfilled, (it could be a need to be acknowledged by others, it could be a need to be called kind and generous by others, it could be a need for outside validation, it could be a need to get something in return); if such a need existed, all her actions would have led to karma.

If that karma has to be resolved, the relationship that you enter into will not be discordant. It will be one that will be comfortable and harmonious. It will be a very close relationship which out of its closeness will result in the resolution of past karma or build up future karma. You do not enter into any relationship without a karma needing to be fulfilled.

This child of ours may have very close links with this child of ours. But if he had not decided upon the link being present in his blueprint and if that was not supported by the blueprint of this child, these two would not have entered into any relationship, however close their past soul links might have been.

A stranger is not one with whom you have no karma. A stranger is not one with whom you have no soul link. A stranger is merely one with whom you have decided not to enter into relationship with, in present incarnation. And yet how many of you look at a stranger and pass him by without a soul acknowledgement. Let your soul acknowledge the presence of every one. You do not know what your link is with that one. How do you acknowledge? ‘I am God’ (self) and ‘I am God’ (another).

Now some of you are questioning: Should I then not help another? I do not know if I am doing it out of need. Why enter into karma at all? Yes, you can take that decision. But you would be isolating your soul from wonderful opportunities of growth.

Our son (Syrus) will say: But it will be mind-controlled! And we will reply: So be it!  If you are helping another merely out of a need that is personal, so be it. You have entered into karma, yes. But you have also served a greater purpose. Out of that action has also arisen a soul to soul help, not consciously realised by you, but present nevertheless.

Such relationships which arise out of such karmic actions, and behaviour and words, also result in complete resolution or an increase in further karma. The result of all relationships is always the same – one or the other.

Let us at this stage, although not asked by our son, also discuss those relationships which we enter into which are not very close, which do not seem to have that depth. We are here looking at casual acquaintances, business relationships, casual friendships. Do these also have karmic links? Most certainly they do. But the links do not go back to several lifetimes. They may be very, very minor ones, which can very easily be resolved and which you do, without even realising it. There is no relationship that does not involve a karmic link. None.

Questions.   We will ask our son to continue the questions.

Sir, I also wanted to know, how much do you work at a relationship and when do you know what has to be done?

You never know that! But you will recognise when karma has come to an end; when a relationship comes to a loving almost natural end. And yet the memory of that relationship leaves you with a sense of fulfilment. It brings a smile to your face when you recall it. There is no emptiness. There is no resentment. That is when you recognise that karma has come to an end. How long should you work at a relationship? Till as long as the relationship ‘is’, till as long as it is, karma is present. If it is a free will choice between you and another, not to resolve that karma in this lifetime any more, that relationship too will come to an end. But you will not feel any sense of completion. And my son, don’t ‘work’ on a relationship. When you work what happens more often is almost a physical stifling of yourself, of another.  Relationships don’t need work, they only need realisation.

Sir, during the course of a relationship, even if it is resolved peacefully or harmoniously, there may be good and bad thoughts. Do those thoughts by themselves affect karma or the karmic balance?

Of course they do. Dear one, thought has an energy. Let me explain briefly to you, what is ‘karma’. Anything that you do or say or think without a ‘soul realisation’ of ‘God’ and ‘God’ will release an energy that cannot be destroyed. No energy, my son, as you are aware, no energy can be destroyed. You therefore become the creator of that energy. Karma is what you have undertaken to fulfil in order to negate that energy, not destroy it. Negate it.  To change the energy from one form into another. To change the ‘karmic’ energy into an energy of ‘realisation of god in yourself and in another’. That is karma. What you create, you yourself must change.  You are the creator. You have to take responsibility for your creation.  That is all that karma is. Taking responsibility that “here is an energy which I have created, which now I must change into the only form that is acceptable and healthy for the universe and that is the form of realisation of God in all.”  Does this answer your question?

Yes Sir but I am also confused.  In that case, could it also be that if I were to observe silence and also try and achieve a thought-less mind, i.e. a mind which is . . . .

You can never try to do that. Silence, little one, is ‘running away’ and that results in an energy build-up of escapism. You have not created an energy with someone else but with yourself, which you will have to change the form of! Ask our son here (Sohrab) and he will tell you what is true silence. And that stage my son cannot be attained from here (pointing to the head). There is nothing like a thought-less mind. It is a myth. When you are able to lose your mind completely in the vast sea of ‘self’ there is silence and no thoughts. And there is no thought because there is no ‘mind’. Not even a thought-less one!