PUNE 7-2-2004

Hi. You are seeing ME. There is no element of any other energy but my own. (To Yezaad)You are seeing ME. I am your wife.

Yes, yes. Stranger. You only see that small part of me that has agreed to come here but this is me, every part of me. Surprising to see me without any defense. Truth is, I need no defence. That small part of me needs the defence. And you are all exactly like me. You know, so often even that bit of me that is called Niloufer, even she has lost her touch with me. She begins to think, "That is me". And do you know, all of us are so many different, different parts. One part of me is this Niloufer, with all her walls and her claws and this part that is Niloufer has to fully merge with me.

You are wondering today why I have come. Because each one needs to remember, like Niloufer needs to remember, that this is a very small part of you. My energy is so large, that Niloufer is so small a part, that my energy and I can move without really needing her that is so small. And you know, I’m not only Niloufer. I am in other places and so many of my energy parts, all work doing their own thing. But I don’t forget because I am there in such vastness. It is almost like removing a few drops of water from the ocean. It does not make a difference really.

And that is why today, I am here in fullness only to remind you that you are not only a small drop, but what you really are is so big. And this part of me that is Niloufer has always been a part that fights. That is something interesting to know. You know, all of us have parts. Some parts of us always fight. Some parts of us always think. Some parts of us always rule. And we think that each part is separate. You have seen me many times but you have seen me with a monadic energy intermingled with my complete energy and so you have not been aware of my energy. But today it is only me.

Now if you ask me how old I am, I would not even know. I can only tell you that I have energies that can move through any dimension that I want, any, and its great fun. And what is wonderful is when you see a small part of you taking on so much importance and then the large ocean is forgotten. (To Scherry) If you love this Niloufer so much, how much more would you adore me?

Do not ever think that you are small. You know why parts of you think that you are small? Let me give you my own example. My energy is so vast that I do not need to really come to earth. But there are small parts of my energy that do not vibrate with me in totality. There are small parts; they are so small that if I wished, I could leave them be at present. But I have in my full energy mission, I have chosen with my own monadic energy. You call my monadic energy Jade Fire. Now do you understand why you love Jade Fire and why you love me? You only see more of me. So taking on this mission, and each one of us takes on missions, taking on that mission, those that you call Masters, which are also not separate from us, the Masters are our own monadic energies. So each group of us really have the same monadic energy and groups like that come together to work together. So there are large, large groups of us, so if you see my monadic energy, it is so huge because it also has so many oceans of energies. Many of you who are here are part of my own monadic energy. So my mission that I chose involved my monadic energy asking me to do something on earth. Now, I know what that it is but Niloufer does not and she must find it out on her own. That part of me that is here must find it out on its own.

When you come as this small part on earth, you come for a reason that THAT part is one of those parts that is not vibrating with the rest of me. So it has to go through a certain process to reach the full totality of my energy vibration and part of this process is to find out some things for yourself. So this journey on earth did not only serve my monadic energy but it helps my energy too, because when even so small a part if it vibrates with this same totality, it adds to my overall vibration. So then it serves a dual purpose. But you see what happens is, when you come, separate from the ocean that part must start feeling itself as distinct. I have to separate from myself but an energy cord is always there. But the mental and emotional cords have to be broken. So I have to go through, which everyone of us goes through …I’m just explaining what happens to us. So I have to go through as this Niloufer part, certain processes, which reduced even more the vibrations of the Niloufer part. They reduced it only for physical purpose; her actual energy vibration cannot be reduced. When this separation was completed, almost like a false identity was given to this part, but this part needed help and guidance and so I was there in full totality. Now don’t get confused. When I say in full totality I mean full. Although the Niloufer part was separated, it is still part of me. I’m not without Niloufer. So this total energy of mine and the large, large monadic energy guided her, helped her to choose things, decisions, people, places, situations that would help her small individual personal part. That is important for you to understand.

You know, you talk of your blueprint. That blueprint is not made for the large mission. That large mission, you, as a small part, don’t decide. So Niloufer in the smallness did not decide. It was chosen by me, in my vastness, in my totality. What Niloufer has to choose is Niloufer’s blueprint, which does not bother the totality at all. So once that blueprint was made, the process then goes out to more and more process of separation, which NOW includes, at this stage it includes, complete forgetfulness. Even when the emotional and mental cords are severed between the totality and the part, forgetfulness does not yet come in. So even then Niloufer knew that she was me. She knew monadic energy but after the blueprint is prepared, then forgetfulness has to start. When that process is completed only then birth takes place, not before that. Sometimes you’ve heard that babies don’t come out on time, because forgetfulness is still not complete. So they wait. And sometimes it happens so quickly that there is no need to wait. But they will wait till the planets make it possible because the blueprint to be fulfilled needs energies even of planets. And I in totality have within me also energies of planets like you do. That is why you and I as Niloufer, we get affected by planets. What happens is, the planetary energy pulls or pushes away the planetary energy inside you. That is what it is. Otherwise how can planets affect you?

Remember, even in inducing of birth, caesarean, aborted labour, even then, if forgetfulness is not completed, it will not be permitted. But sometimes, forgetfulness stay, not incomplete, but doesn’t reach its final moment. That is when you have children who remember, "This was my house". Now that moment that they remember may not be the same for all. You may remember one small part. Another’s forgetful moment that has not been completely covered up may be in a different area. So it’s not always the same. So then forgetfulness happens and birth takes place.

Now birth is the most difficult part of a separated energy because when it moves from energy field to a physical actual energy field, the separated part goes through, what can I say, a withdrawal symptom. There is like a cramping. If it can be explained in physical terms, you would call it pain but because energy does not feel pain, so that is not the right word I am using. But it is a very severe withdrawal symptom. So the complete veil of forgetfulness is not placed, so that when Niloufer was born she did not feel completely lost. It is at this point that she fought. I, as Niloufer could see myself fighting not to take birth because suddenly it all became very real. She was already in the physical then, so the energy began to think and feel like physical and this energy, this part has always been a fighting part, so it fought. "No! No! Let me come back". But that was not going to be. Not because Niloufer didn’t want it but because I didn’t want it. I knew, that this part has to go.

Now this is another very wonderful thing. I do not feel any pain when Niloufer feels pain, so I don’t cry when Niloufer cries and I don’t get angry when she gets angry. There is no emotional connection; that has been broken, otherwise the whole energy would find it very difficult because there are so many small parts that I have put out. So I don’t feel anything. That is something you must also remember. You know as energy, you and I feel nothing. There is no pity, no compassion, no love the way Shernie and Niloufer would feel love. Not at all. In fact, what you consider bonding is not there in that sense at all. . Because energy… when we are all part, we only just mingle and move and mingle and move. It is like if you had two agarbattis and they were both letting out smoke, the smoke would be from two separate sticks and then they would mix and move and mix and move. So there is no real bonding like this. But you know this because when this part separates and it goes into this physical realm, then it is to undergo physical emotions; so you have this bonding and you have compassion and you have this protective feeling for people.

But it has its flipside. It makes the walls. It is your emotional body that makes the walls because wherever there is compassion then there is that pinprick of pain. Then there is also anger and fear and anxiety which makes you (Scherry) wonder how your daughter (Diane) is. But what she is, is another small separated part of me. So she is looking at herself and is also seeing herself. So many of you have met parts of you. Some have even married parts of you. But you know, you will feel that energy does not feel, energy has no compassion like us. But because it has no emotional ties like this, you see energy without any wall. There is no pain and it is not that I have completely abandoned or left this part of me that is Niloufer. No. She does not remember me but I KNOW, I don’t need to remember, I know. So many times I’ve tried to move this part, to move myself into a direction but because the mental and emotional cords are cut, I don’t always succeed. Because now, it is like trying to get through to a totally different part, almost like an energy that is different from mine because it has taken on changes, it has gone through processes. So I don’t bother with the physical Niloufer at all. It will be a waste of time. What I do then, is in moments when Niloufer’s guards are down, I take over her physical grid of energy and I am permitted to do that because it is my own. I’m not interfering so I take it over. I merge it completely with the totality. In doing that I’m giving her, like an injection of some energy. So she may then suddenly think or realize this is what I should do, because she has got this boost. But I can only do this when her physical guards are down.

You don’t understand how strong your physical guards are. They stop you from yourself and that is the greatest harm you can do. Because if you will now just remember that there is ME, waiting to help me, you will make your own lives so much easier. Not that it bothers me if her life is easy or difficult. But this totality of energy of each one of us here, it knows that you want something more from your physical life. It knows because your desire is immediately known, even before your physical minds, because eventually if you see it, it is my own desire.

So when you wish to do something, then your totality is there to help you do it but for that you must put your guard down. You know, that is one of the reasons that you are told to meditate. Your guards go down. Then you don’t have a big fist pointed at everyone. Then when you sleep your guards go down. When you sometimes listen to music your guards go down. When you are with someone you really, really love your guards go down. Those times the totality takes over the physical energy grid and you have what you call "moments of inspiration". But the truth is that we are all so wide because the more expansed your energy is, the totality of it, the more realms and dimensions you can touch, the more wisdom you automatically imbibe into your energy. You know that is wisdom. Wisdom is not learnt. It is imbibed. It becomes part of your energy. So you can have any answer that you want from your totality. You don’t really need any book, any person to tell you. Sometimes you feel that a stranger comes in your life at just the right moment and then somehow very strangely disappears. But for that brief moment or period, that stranger has really helped you to move in the right direction. That is you. Somewhere, there is another part that is you. So you bring different parts together but one part who is the stranger may have the guards down more often. So totality can take over the other’s grid easier while your guards are up.

If you really see, what happens in meditation is you do not feel. Emotion has been suspended for a while. You know, you say, "I felt very nice". "I felt calm". "I felt love". That is all wrong. You BECAME calm. You BECAME love. You didn’t feel it. In fact, feeling was suspended. That is very difficult. What you can try is to just educate your physical body to draw the wisdom from your mental body. How? To make a channel. Now you know, many of you are learning to channel and heal. What are you doing really? You are educating your physical body to make a channel with your mental body. My connection of totality to part is through your mental body. I don’t need your emotional body. I don’t need your physical body. But I NEED your mental body. Totality NEEDS the mental body of the part. So if you can train yourself to access your mental body, you will be able to then access your wisdom. And remember, a wise man is a feelingless man. Not indifferent! Not that. He is not cruel. He is not mean. He is without feeling. He has been able to, in some great degree, overcome the emotional body.

Any questions you want to ask, you may.

No. No. No. Niloufer chose the small part of you and the small part of you communicated with the large part of you. I had nothing to do with it. Totality does not decide on the place, the parent. Your totality is not really interested in you. (laughter!)

You have been taught so many meditations, so many different techniques but, you know, none of these techniques you really need to use if you do not wish to. If only you can do one training for yourself. In moments when you are feeling the pain, the hurt, remember your totality. Why remember? Because you are using mental body to remember. Mental body will connect to totality.

Soul mates, you may call them. I call them different parts.

That is what I just told her. Just remember that you have more energy than you are experiencing. You know, the guards make you limited. The first thing your guard does, and you know maybe if you remember this, you won’t have so many guards. The first thing your guards do is to stop you from your own energy. THEN it stops you from another’s energy and that too it never does properly. Sometimes I wonder why we try so hard. So many guards she has. But she has them.

Niloufer in the small part has the choice. When you are looking at me, as totality, I don’t need free will. I don’t need free will. Free will is when you have a choice, "Should I do this? Should I not?"

That is free will for the small Niloufer. I, in my large energy, don’t.

I wanted this done, because I know that this energy that is me, and I know this energy completely, every smallest bit of this vastness of me I know. There is nothing that I don’t know. So I know why I am energy, so I know.

Yes, you can call it that. But you know actually that also would be limiting because I am energy but I also know that my monadic energies are vaster. But you know the only difference between you and your totality and your totality and your monadic is that your totality knows that it is part of your monadic but it has stayed distinct. You don’t know that. So knowing is the key, not feeling. (Pointing to the head) Mental, mental. Very important. You know, you always use words like super mind and super conscious and super mental and you have never asked why only mental and why mind. You don’t say super heart. You don’t need heart. Only Annie ( referring to the physical self0 needs heart. Super heart you don’t need but the mind you need. Now because his (Jimmy) totality and mine are so closely merged, I can read his physical mind and he is wondering about why the mind then has been condemned by all those energies that have come. No? (Jimmy nodded) Then we talk of the mind when the monadic energies had come or other energies that come, they talk of mind. They are referring to your physical not to your mental body. You know, language is a very limiting factor. It’s very difficult to communicate in a language. Again, best communication is through mental body because then all that I, as energy have to do with you as energy is to just imbibe my wisdom into you. That is it.

It happens in a dream state, always or any state where your guard is down. Because the guards hold your mental body tight. Emotional body is killed by guards. As totality, now here I have to use the word see but it is not really seeing, it’s really I’m aware, of how badly this part’s emotional body gets damaged by these guards. But again there, because this part of me in physical, has taken those guards with choice, complete choice. It has not been a process where she doesn’t know. It just may not be very, very conscious but it has been taken like all of you do with choice. So you see when small parts take these deliberate physical choices, we then cannot overcome them because I am ME. But I have to wait to overcome when the guard is down. So you know, even if every day you can keep a little time to bring your guard down, you as you would have a great time and then so much of the wisdom you would imbibe into your mental body and then you would wonder, "I’m channeling". Of course, you are channeling. What does channeling mean? Making the connection from your physical mental body to the totality. Channeling.

No! You know, there are parts of me, I have said. So there are parts of me that this small part and the other small parts can easier reach and touch. Those parts you can call a Higher Self. You haven’t understood. If this glass is close, I can touch it. But this glass is also part of glass, no? Bigger, glass as in the material. I can’t touch that because now I see only this part. It is little different. But Higher Self is also me. Totality is only highest but even that is not true because there is monadic.

You know, there is the fullness of energy. Now this is going to be very difficult in words. But the full energy could have just been in energy state. But that would have served no purpose.

Gulene: Divine energy, you mean.

Call it divine. So in order to serve different purposes, just like I in my full totality know my purpose, energy also knows its purposes. So you know, for each purpose, it kind of took on a separate identity, if you want to call it. But you know, at that level of vibration, which is my own monadic energy vibration, words like "separate" and "identity" are not really true, but we can use them so you understand them better. So that is the monadic.

Very big spark. And then there are smaller sparks and then even smaller sparks and then just tiny pinpoints of light. (Smiles at Scherry) She really loves me just now.

Only this, energy had to serve different purposes.

No! No! No! Not that! You lead a complicated life because of your guards, not because of that. Energy has purposes to serve.

Larger purposes. Numerous ones.

Because in its fullest totality of which then your totality and my totality and each ones monadic totality also, would become that totality of full energy. That energy had no purpose in only being.

If you were to be told to only sit in a place for the rest of your life, no movement, no purpose, no nothing, what would this energy small part be?

Serving, that is it. Serving is the whole purpose of energy and it is still. Now you see this small part (Yezaad) has so totally forgotten the totality of his own energy, which is so vibrant and so beautiful. And this is a guard. Asking these questions is also a guard. You understand?

Each part of energy as it began serving, it is like you have a large home. Each room serves a different purpose and then in that one room also, each area serves a different purpose. So in your bedroom, you will keep your altar in that one place. So it serves that purpose. Understand? Even on your altar, see them going smaller, only one place you will keep your candle, not everywhere. So space is also an energy serving a purpose. That is all. So each part serves smaller and smaller you may say, purposes. Like you have a large home, which serves the purpose for you to stay in a large city. In your home there is an area, which serves as your bedroom. In your bedroom, the bed serves its own purpose.

On the bed, the place where you sleep serves that purpose. So you see, not even a tiny space has no purpose. Now your bed does not look like your house. Your house does not look like your city. But when we see it, it’s all like you have small boxes into large ones, into large ones, into large ones. That is all that it is. Different spaces serving different purposes. The whole essence of energy is only service.

The mind cannot even perceive itself, leave alone the mental body. Your mind.

You can perceive your mind with your mind? It is time now for me to go. Just remember, no feeling.

Oh! This is what you must all learn. No one can help another. You can guide, you may assist but eventually she has to do it all, like you have to do it all. But the fact is that you know, so many times you feel alone. If I was here inside and I closed this up, then I’d feel alone, no, inside? No? So I just have to open a bit.

I do it to myself, everything.

No, because you all have also not understood, so how can she understand. Then she’ll again use her favorite word "garbage". She’ll understand when she has to understand. You don’t worry so much.

Now I’ll have to go.

I know her as the physical part that came. I, with my monadic energy parts, have given this name only so that this small part that is physical, will get an energy of the sound, which will help this physical grid. That is all. So I refer to her as any name. It is fine.

Now no joining hands. Say bye, no?

Where?

She wants me to come home. You all have really helped my physical and that is because so many of the totalities here, they all have only one monadic energy. So in you there are many parts of me here.

And now I will go on that note.